"Each face you see expresses a story - the lives of their ancestors. Experiences of the family are etched in our smiles, reflected in our eyes and lived through our behaviors. As people stand in front of you, be human kind. They witness your story, too." Sanna Carapellotti
Have you wondered if previous family events can control your life?
Yes, they do.
Within every family, a consciousness exists. Events, traumas, philosophies and patterns that remain unresolved, ignored or created stress and chaos are consequentially handed down into the succeeding generations. You are also handed down successes, love and powerful cultural activites. Family Constellation work draws on the family system to reveal this consciousness that moves through all members in a unique way.
Trauma, conflict, or the expression of the unresolved life struggles, subconsciously repeat themselves, as if they are 'inherited.' Unbeknownst to us, what is suppressed in one generation will be expressed in the next, i.e., traumatic deaths, financial failure, criminal behavior, success, lifestyles, and especially, those who have been rejected. Our attempts at resolution are temporary at best and can become a stuggle.
Examples: The grandmother who internalized the grief of the infant who died before your mother was born. Her fear, worries and grief can create a distancing in early bonding with 'your mother' who then grows up and repeats the pattern when she has her children.
Another scenario is a man who drinks and is depressed like his father and his grandfather.
A woman who achieves high levels of success because grandmother was a trail blazer and mother, an entrepreneur.
Do you hear yourself saying --
- "The women in our family are depressed," and you are depressed.
- "I drink like my father," and you have a drinking problem.
- "I am fat like Mom, my sisters and grandmother!" And you are overweight.
- "I can't make money. My dad was a failure." and you can't get ahead.
- "I can't change this pattern. I'm stuck in this pain," and you don't know why.
Family bonding, i.e., loyalty, and the need to be a part of the collective system, is more powerful than you realize. We might reject our families and not realize how this decision to distance or emotionally separate, can influence our lives and create our struggles. We stay connected or 'loyal' through addictions, anxieties, depression, following patterns and the more negative qualities. We are fated to be a part of this evolving family system because we are born into it.
Every family member has a unique role within their respective family that is conscious and unconscious. Even at the deepest levels of consciousness, we are making life decisions, commitments and choices, that profoundly influences how we love and live. We often carry, or hold, our mother's pain or our grandfather's failures.
Bert Hellinger, a world renown Psychotherapist, observed this soul energy, or expression, from a perspective relatively unobserved in Western Medicine and culture, thereby, revealing the family subconscious. This therapeutic approach he designed has dramatically effected changes in individuals and their families, even when the family members are not present in the session. His work is well presented in his books and professional articles, and his (and my) testimonials speak loud and clear.
Hellinger's work reveals an order of love that begin with this premise - Everyone born into a family belongs to the family, and they deserve to be 'seen' and must be recognized. This includes those who were cast out for any reason, i.e., criminal behavior, institutionalized due to a handicap, being a jerk or cut out for nonconformity. Maybe they died prematurely at birth or achieved overwhelming financial success. In his 50 plus years of work, Hellinger observed past generations through his clients, who unconsciously lived similarly to call attention to dismissed family members. In other words, they behave like, or do something that calls attention to the respective individual.
Trauma, premature deaths, mental disabilities, money issues, famine and virtually any life struggle or success lives within the family system and, especially when it is ignored, the unresolved conflict or pain releases into the preceeding generations. It is ignored because it is too difficult, too painful or very embarassing. With existing personal and collective resources, families respond in the best way they can, although not always the healthiest and most supportive. There are always consequences, some realized and some unknown, to this consciousness, or bleed, as I refer to it.
How I work using Hellinger Constellations
After a 9 month training intensive and advanced training, I have integrated this work into my private sessions with great success. Solo (1-1) family energetic mapping work, meaning your family does not come in for a session, can be applied to illness, abuse, obesity/weight issues, depression, struggles, money issues - any life challenge. I have a special interest in eating issues and have created a dynamic system, The Family Table, to help clients with long standing eating issues.
We are all born into a family consciousness and in order to thrive and live fully we must acknowledge the existing family system, as is. We can secure a new role and make personal adjustments with our family members. Keep in mind that love is fluid and has many vibrational qualities from abuse to the highest love, which is purely unconditional. Even infants in utero adapt to environments where love is scarce. These ways of loving form psychological patterns that can last a life time.
Our souls honor with great reverence our respective family systems. The patterns and energies flow from generation to generation until one member says, "I want a new order of love." (Bert Hellinger)
The question is - "How do I separate self from these past life times while maintaining the integrity of the family and my current life? Call Sanna - 412.344.2272